Lately when I find myself sitting down to write for my blog my mind goes blank. I'm not sure if I'm over thinking things, or if I just have nothing to say, so I boycotted blogging for the summer.

I just got back from seeing a movie and it got me thinking. A child's love is so precious. They love so freely and with everything that they have. They're not afraid to speak what's on their mind and if and when they don't like something. Children are really priceless. It makes me think of my nieces and nephews. I'll be visiting at their house and one of them will just walk up to me and say "I love you auntie Krista" It's so cute. I love my nieces and nephews.

School has started again and it's time to start reading the textbooks and doing the homework. I think that this is going to be a good year. I'm going to try and blog more, but we'll see if that happens. Untill next time.

I was thinking today about life in general and the people that I surround myself with on a day to day basis. Everyone is so different, each unique in their own way, but yet society trys to conform us all to a certain standard, a certain image that we're all suppose to live up to.

If we're sad we're not suppose to show it, because no one wants to know the bad stuff in other people's lives. We're all suppose to be happy and only share the good things with other people.
I see people on a daily basis that have so much to share and so much to give to the others around them, but somehow they feel judged or unsafe, so they remain quiet and don't say anything. Then there are others that share so much about themselves that it is almost overwhelming. You wonder "why did they tell me that?". I wish that there could be a happy medium.

My heart hurts for those that don't feel safe enough to be who they really are with the people around them. I wish that there was some safe place that I could take them to, or tell them where to go. It just takes one person to affect the mood you're in or how safe you feel in a group. I wish that we could all be examples of Christ and be open to anyone that comes into our lives instead of judging first and then deciding if we life the person. We wonder why there are so may broken relationships out there, whether it be a marriage, a friendship, or the relationship between a child and their parents. The Bible tells us that we are to above all other things love each other and to treat others as you want to be treated. Why do we find this so hard. We go thought our lives so often doing things that if they were done to us we would feel really hurt.

I know that in all of these areas I struggle. It's a daily challange to try and be who God wants me to be. I stumble quite often. I'm definately not perfect, but I try. This has really been on my heart lately. I would love to see a community where anyone could go and be loved and I mean truely loved.

Cattle Trucks

I was running late for school on friday so I was in a hurry. As I was turning onto 43rd a cattle semi was turning onto 43rd from the other direction. Comming around the corner I could see this brown liquid coming from the back of the cattle liner. It was really windy that day so this wonderful brown liquid was spraying very far. As I turned this brown liquid hit my car. Basicly I got pooped or peed on by a bunch of cows in the back of the truck. Man did it ever stink. And then because I was late for school I had to go and park my car and not wash it. It smelt so bad. I was laughing pretty hard though cause I have to admit it is quite funny.

Dictionaries

You know what I don't understand, is why dictionaries use big words to describe a word that you already don't know what it means. It just means that in order to understand the word you originally looked up you have to look up another word to understand the definition you really wanted. It just makes the whole process more confusing then it has to be. Anyways I just thought that it was kind of funny while using the online dictionary today.

Writing

I use to write all the time. I would sit in my room at school or in the music hallway and lyrics for a song would come to me or just thoughts I wanted to write down on paper. I found of few of my writings the other day and I thought that I'd share them with you. Whoever is reading this If anyone. These aren't titled, I haven't thought of names for them yet but here it goes.

This one is Jesus talking to one of his children who is hurting.

I'm with you now.

My arms are around you.

I'm holding you tight.

I wont let go.

You can trust me with anything.

I will take your burdens and sorrows.

I love you dear child, remember that.

I will never leave you.

Just have faith in me.

Written January 2003. so that's one of me pieces, in the future I might share more, but for now I'll leave you with a quote that I realy like from Max Lucado in A Gentle Thunder.

Ever feel like you have nothing?

Just look at the gifts God has given you.

He has sent his angels to care for you,

his Holy Spirit to dwell in you, his church to encourage you,

and his word to guide you.

Anytime you speak, he listens;

make a request and he responds.

He will never let you be tempted too much or stumble too far.

Let a tear appear on your cheek,

and he is there to wipe it.

Let a love sonnet appear on your lips,

and he is there to hear it.

As much as you want to see him,

he wants to see you more.

You have been chosen be Christ...

He has claimed you as his beloved.

I was reading one of my textbooks for class today...Which I might add I finally finished :) but that's not my point. I realized that I tend to be a very private person. As the book said I " tend to play it safe and stay inside myself and observe the world around me". I'd rather not take the risk at exposing my talents or who I am to many people in the fear of getting hurt. I never use to be this way. Oh how past experiences can change you without you even realizing it. This is no way to live your life I've decided. You're not really living your life, your observing it, being passive instead of active. I know that over the last year I've taken some steps to break out of my little safety net I place around me, but I still find it very hard. I think that it's time for bed for me though.

One of those days...

So today I leave early so I can make it to my band practice on time. I made it to the university alright...but then I locked my keys in my car. Not only my keys, my purse, the combination to the locker where my saxophone was, even my cell phone. So here I am stuck up in the north parking lot. so I run down to the university and catch one of my friends, borrow their cell phone, call my parents to come with my spare key. So I'm standing by my car waiting, I had my IPod to listen to ( the whole reason I locked my keys in the car in the first place ) By the time my parents got there with the key I was late for band practice. I get to practice and Bob just laughs at me. It just wasn't my day.